In the ensuing three decades, I made some less than impressive attempts to right the wrong, but no very determined efforts. In the early nineties, after I had graduated as a Town Planner and was working in South Yorkshire, I took an A level in Art and Design at evening classes. I remember discussing with my partner at the time, wanting to go back to university to study art, but it was dismissed as we had a mortgage to pay, beer to buy and holidays to go on and whilst I wasn't earning a fortune, my income was needed. So my fledging career in Planning took off. What followed was many years of trying to manage conflicting expectations, dented aspirations and often angry people, who really didn't want to discuss such matters with a young whippersnapper. Whilst local government careers are often looked upon as desirable, as even now, for many reasons they are, those early years, with my desire to please people, I found incredibly stressful.
During this time, I tried my hand at animal portraits and sold a few. I also enrolled in a foundation course at Barnsley College, but working full time meant that I could only devote an afternoon a week to attending classes. It would have taken 6 years to complete the course and for a relative youngster, this was just too long and I dropped out. After that I took another A level in Art History whilst I was living in Leeds.
What followed was a couple of years of fevered completion of needlepoint kits- at the time compulsive stitching and making curtains! By this point I had moved from Leeds and back to Barnsley. I had managed to land myself a job away from planning and hopefully the stress and long hours, but still in local government. I moved into service reviews, reviled by many at the time, it was a new area for councils, forcibly imposed upon them by the government and I was to be one of the reviewers. I went into this, with the heartfelt belief that I could make a difference to the services being delivered. One of the reasons for leaving Leeds was the large work load. I was putting in a lot of hours to try and get through what was a relentless treadmill of paper work. What I hadn't considered in leaving for a brand new career was that a fledging work load, meant a fledging work force and that the resources available to do the work expected were by no means evenly matched. What followed was increased hours in a similarly stressful environment so after 18 months I hopped from one stressful job with long hours to a better paid job, but with even longer hours and more stress. After 6 months, I jumped again briefly into a paid planning consultancy job, but again whilst the hours were better, I loathed it! So against all my sensible sensibilities, with the support and encouragement of Mike, I resigned and became self employed. Being self employed of course brings its own pressures, but times were good, the economy was soaring and through a mixture of public sector work and private sector clients, I stayed more than fully employed for the next few years.
It was during this period that I came across the Creative Embroiderers Barnsley; a wonderful group of ladies, who warmly welcomed me to the group. It was through attendance at this group that my interest in textiles was reawakened from the earliest memories of embroidery classes at junior school and crochet with my Mum and sister, making implausibly large granny square bed spreads. The group is an active one, having regular speakers and trips to exhibitions and I just knew that I wanted to produce work to the same quality as the artists we were exposed to.
When the economy took its nose dive in 2008, I was lucky to secure work at Barnsley and Wakefield as a programme manager later that year. The programme was time limited and I knew that I needed a plan, especially as the economy was unlikely to recover and the demand for planning consultants was very limited. This gave me the push I needed, and I started working with Dougie, my life coach, to come up with a plan. By November last year I had started this blog as a record of my progress to achieving my goal to become a textile artist. At the time, it seemed a lifetime away from my course starting, but this week was Week O- the induction week, freshers week...fresh meat week (though obviously that doesn't apply in my case!). I was excited and apprehensive before the week started.
I knew the class were likely to be young, but I thought there may be a couple of mature students, given the subject. They aren't, which is ok, but what I foolishly hadn't really accounted for was the whole culture shock of being in the middle of freshers weeks- angst, long queues, a mass of bright young things. I suddenly felt so very old and very very tired and I did have a couple of OMG what have I done moments! However, things had moved on considerably from my first experience of what was then polytechnic life where we just turned up on the day to enrol and then classes started. Now, the university had been careful to arrange a variety of events to introduce us to the library, student welfare services, the students union, independent learning and the most complicated timetable on the planet! The library is incredibly well resourced and there are Apple Macs as far as the eye can see. I was like a kid in a sweet shop the first time I visited it and I know that I will be spending many happy hours in there.
On Friday, the year went to the Hepworth for a day of sketching. The place was rammed to the gunnels with students of various ages, all sketching away. I was gripped with fear - what if I was no good; I hadn't sketched anything for years, what if I didn't collect the right information? I felt like a million teenage eyes were boring into my sketch book- which of course they weren't and with some trepidation I started to draw. By mid afternoon, the gallery was emptying and the group had disappeared. What followed was the most wonderful hour and a half. I found a delightful little sculpture by Reg Butler of a Young Woman Standing 1951/2 and whilst my sketches aren't the most accomplished in the world, they make me happy and that is what it is all meant to be about.
Sketch of Reg Butler Sculpture Young Woman Standing
